Let me start off by saying I am no expert in dating, love, or men.
In fact, I am FAR from being an expert. I’ve had 3 boyfriends, all of which were in high school and lasted between 1 to 4 months and another interesting relationship that I’m not exactly sure how to classify. I’ve tried one online dating site out of millions and I’ve only just started to intentionally date this year, 6 months ago in fact. As you can see, my scope of knowledge on the dating subject is actually very limited and I have no intention of claiming that I’m infinitely knowledgeable.
Life is all about your experiences and that is what I plan on sharing. The experiences that I have had thus far in the dating game. If you tend to be one of those easily offendable types, then you should probably go read something else. Since I’m writing the blog, you can go ahead and assume that they are going to be from the female perspective (as I’m a female). I try to steer clear of generalizations, but please forgive me if I make one. Or two. I KNOW NOT ALL GUYS ARE DULL, OKAY?! There are plenty of awesome men that I have met and that are, unfortunately, married or unavailable. This blog is about the dating game and those men that I have met. So, take it for what it’s worth to you. No, I do not want your negative feedback or things that I could have or should have done differently. I am well aware that I’m not perfect and have (and still am) making mistakes. If anything, I hope you can have a good laugh from reading.
Please note: The names below are fake. I have enough decency to respect a person’s privacy and have no intention of humiliating someone via a blog post. Rest assured, all other circumstances in each date are real.
Date #1: Duke.
Duke and I met for lunch at Exile Brewery about 3 months ago. I figured lunch was less formal than dinner and therefore would be less awkward. I think that’s a pretty fair statement, right? Duke immediately stuck out to me. He had a great sense of humor and was attractive from what I could tell of his pictures. He was an artist, which I found very interesting. I’ve never had the ability to really dive into art or understand it. We talked for a couple weeks then decided to meet for lunch. Honestly, our date went really well. I was relieved to discover he acted the same in person as he did online and conversation flowed easily. I found out we were complete opposites. Duke tended to live life casually and did not have a lot of drive or ambition. He was a “go with the flow” type of guy that essentially had sailed through life. No, I did not say that “go with the flow” types of people are lazy or that all of them sail through life. He literally described himself as being this way. I, on the other hand, strive to live a busy life that is full of purpose and am extremely ambitious. There were definitely some “bumps” on the date, but I considered them minor and simply the result of contrasting personalities. Opposites attract, right? He paid for lunch and hugged me at the door. We decided that we would go on a second date and said our quick goodbyes. That was that.
Until……
Duke decided that he wanted to send me his blog to view. I was excited to read his blog as I had mentioned that I had just gotten into blogging on our date. Being an artist, I was interested to see what his blog was all about. Turns out, his blog was full of naked women. No, I am not joking. Pictures and pictures that were so graphic I felt like they were etched into my mind weeks later. It is so crazy how you can meet someone and not really know them despite spending hours conversing with him. Nothing he said gave me the impression that he was into plastering images of naked women on a Tumblr account. I gave him an out and asked him if these pictures were a part of his “artistic” inspiration. I mean, artists paint naked people, right? He admitted that they were not and he simply “liked them.” My first online date was with a porn addict. I know this is the reason many people refuse to online date so I was hesitant in sharing this story, but I think this is honestly pretty rare. I am so thankful that he shared this with me up front and I had nothing invested. Also, just so you know, I gave a very polite response back to him that consisted something along the lines of “That’s not something that I’m really interested in but thanks for paying for my meal. Have a good one!” Let’s be real. I could have been a lot meaner.
Date 2: Anthony.
Ohhh, Anthony. I thought Anthony really had potential (over text). After the porn addict, I decided to wait a little bit before meeting anyone in person. Yes, I gave out my cell phone number. No, not right away. It took about a month until I forked it over. SORRY, MOMMA! Anyways, Anthony and I clicked (over text). He had the most interesting job ever: entomologist (study of bugs, what?!?!?!). I had felt nervous for the previous date, but this time, I felt ready. I felt excited. I made the plan to meet at Fongs which was my current obsession. Okay, it’s still my obsession. I had also told him if he played his cards right he may be invited to hang out with my group of friends later on that evening. Girls, do NOT invite guys to do anything with you post-date until it’s actually post-date. Before you say anything, I never admitted to having any common sense. Anyways, Anthony ended up being as dull as a box of nails. Thank God I am a talker, or the date would have been one of the most awkward situations of my life. He answered with short, one-word or one-sentence responses and did not ask anything about me in return. We split the meal, which I was okay with considering the date had been going terribly. After a horrid hour-long eating fest, Anthony asked me if he had been playing his cards right. WHAT IS A GIRL SUPPOSED TO SAY? Yes, I got myself into this mess and had no idea how to get out. I ended up telling him he was doing alright and that if he wanted to come out he could but that it might be awkward and loud, (insert every other possible excuse to deter someone from wanting to go out with you here), etc. etc. and he still accepted. Ugh. A quick text out to all my friends revealed how awful my date was going and that it was going to be continuing. I forgot to mention that this kid went the bathroom 7 TIMES during our 3 hour long excursion. Bless his little heart. I’m not sure if he was insanely nervous, had a really small bladder, or just was socially awkward. 3 of those 7 happened during our 1 hour dinner with 4 happening in the next 2 hours following. We were not drinking enough to have to go the bathroom that frequently in case you were wondering. We met up with the group and he proceeded to be utterly silent for the next 2 hours unless probed a question, in which he answered in his typical one-word or one-sentence response style. Around 10:00p, I called it quits and faked being tired and asked if he was ready to go. Luckily he was and he walked me out to the parking lot where my car was and leaned in for a kiss. OH. NO. I literally panicked and quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, turned my head, and gave him a quick hug. I spat out a “goodnight” and walked hastily to my car. As I mentioned earlier, I’m aware of the mistakes I made on this date and how I should have been direct with him that it wasn’t going well and let him off the hook, etc. but it’s VERY hard to do that when on a date and with someone you essentially made post-date plans with (again, a mistake. told you I am aware of them!). He mentioned on our date that he had been on quite a few previous dates where he texted the girl to follow-up on a second and they simply ignored him, which he obviously didn’t like. Now, I know I made the mistake of not being honest with him right away but I did follow-up with him the next day to tell him that I didn’t think it was going to work out but appreciated the time he took out of his night to hang out and wished him luck on his future. No response. For someone that is pissed that people are not responding to you, you should at least have the decency to respond back if they were to tell you they aren’t interested. Just saying.
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To be continued… [the next dates aren’t as horrible, I promise!]
Date #3: William.
Date #4: Paul.
Date #5: Mark. (Spoiler: This one is current)
atalierae 